I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
