so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
