Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
