So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
