You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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