Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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