he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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