THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
