is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
