She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
