its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
