All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize