You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
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I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
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Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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