uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's never too late to be topless.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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