That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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