Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
