I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
