the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
