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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
