And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
