I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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