i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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