I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
ttyl tear gas
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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