So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
