I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
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keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
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All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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