not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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