Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
