Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I am naked and annoyed.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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