some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
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I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
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I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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