did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Randomize
