New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
