What a fucking waste of an outfit
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize