He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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