All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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