i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
