saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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