Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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