People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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