Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
