part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
