No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
