I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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