Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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