the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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