worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
