explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize