And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Houston, we have a squirter
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
