You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
