Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
