Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize