dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
