I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Randomize
