He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize