This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize