is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
