you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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