You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
