just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
