I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
