I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
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Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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